Glutton For Punishment

Why, as parents, do we feel the need to encourage our little ones to become mobile? Why do we cheer them on with tummy time, laying them down, moving things away so that they have to move towards them?

Why?

Sam is now crawling and at a very amazing pace. Nothing is safe. Nothing.

He has not been crawling for a total of 36 hours and already the TV has been unplugged twice, a bowl of cereal flipped over, the guitar for the Wii almost knocked over, and I think Tango is missing about half his whiskers.

If you don't hear from me after a few days, the boys probably have me tied up and are holding me hostage. Tango will be of no help because they are his access to people food.

I'm doomed.

Read more...

Time For A Reminder

A comment on my last post made me realize that maybe I should clarify a few things. Again.

I am not perfect. Never claimed to be. I am crazy. I have a bit of a temper and maybe some residual anger issues. I hold people to a higher standard than is probably acceptable. I have a low tolerance for stupid. At times I can be mean and judgemental. But I know all of this.

What makes me different from your garden variety sociopath is that most of what I feel is in my head. I can envision slapping someone, hitting them upside their head, all while keeping a smile on my face knowing that I can't really do that.

I have never hit a person in anger. Well, there was that one time when Daniel scared me half to death and thought it was funny. I slapped his arm. But other than that, never. I know it is wrong. I would never teach my kids to do hit in anger as well. I don't even spank Aidan if I am angry with him because I know the motivation behind it is wrong.

I also know that there are people in this world I just don't like. I am aware that there are people in this world that do not like me and I probably top their list of people they'd like to get rid of. However, in most circumstances I will keep this to myself or restricted to this blog. Especially if I have respect for someone who does happen to like them. Case in point, Daniel's cousin who just had the baby. I have a friendship with and respect for Mandy, her sister. In order to not bring anything down on Mandy, I am civil to her sister. I will acknowledge her presence and even talk to her. Only a very few times have I got on her about something but I was not the only one.

I do this because I know how it feels to have a friend no one likes. My very best friend for the last 11 years is a woman that no one in my family liked. She was brash, aggressive, kind of crazy, and just in your face. But she was my best friend. I had people that were openly mean to her despite their supposed respect for me. I accepted it because I know how she is. But she was for the longest time the most important person in my life. It hurt me how she was treated.

Because of her, I will not openly degrade this cousin of Daniel's. I know it would hurt Mandy's feelings even though she has some of the same feelings as me. This may be two faced but in some situations it is a necessity. I would rather grit my teeth and deal with stupid than hurt Mandy's feelings.

So yeah, I talk all kinds of shit here. I tell how I'd like to physically harm someone. I dare anyone to say honestly that they have never felt that feeling where a good slap upside the head to a person wouldn't make them feel better.

I am not perfect. Never will be. I have flaws. I acknowledge this and I work on some things. But people, don't judge me. Not on this. Do it on something more worthwhile.

Read more...

I Don't Know Why I Bother

Okay, we all know that I have a particular problem with mothers that are blatant fools. I have a bit of guilt over that but hey, I'm human. Well, folks. I have an exceedingly ridiculous dose of stupidity for you to ruminate over this week.

So, I know this chick. She's a mom. Got a newborn whose maybe three weeks. Those links above? They are about her. She's a doozy. Man, she tops my list of people who I cannot stand. She finally dethroned Oprah and Jeff Gordon.

Let me lay it out for you beginning with a question.

If you were a new mom and was having trouble with your baby, and another mom who has dealt with postpartum depression and raising kids alone, suggests that maybe the new mom isn't bonding well with her new baby and that maybe mentioning it to the doctor would be a good idea, would you throw a hissy fit and scream and yell?

I have watched this woman in how she interacts with her new baby-well, actually it's how she doesn't. She admits to getting frustrated too easily, the baby is fussy with her and no one else, and she is a bit rough in how she handles the baby. She has shown that she has a bit of a temper/anger issue. When she holds her baby, it's like the baby is just a thing, not her child. It's the whole 'the baby is frustrating me which makes the baby fussy which frustrates which makes the baby....' cycle that never ceases.

Now, I know that people interact differently with their children and some are just not very demonstrative but she acts more lovey with Sam than with her own children.

I told her that I was concerned after her sister came to me concerned. I've been there. Alone for the nightly scream fests, the frustrations of two kids on your own, feeling like you are at your limit. So I thought it might mean something if I reached out to her. Instead she flipped out and said she can't tell a doctor because she couldn't afford the medication (her medicaid runs out in 6 weeks) and she can't buy nothing else and no one helps her. I pointed out that she has her sister, her mom, and way more support than I did even with Sam. She lost her mind and said it's all pointless and I don't know what I'm talking about.

I got so angry that I yelled at her, "Fine! Do what you want. Put your child at risk because you want to play like that." And I stomped off. I wanted to hit her.

I understand that it's hard hearing certain things. But I've been there where I didn't want to hold either of my kids. Where I had to go outside for a few minutes to avoid doing something. I've been there when Daniel is gone for weeks at a time and I'm left doing it by myself with no sleep. Yeah, I chose to be a trucker wife but she CHOSE to sleep around and practice unsafe sex.

Normally I'm rude to her but I was sincere and I didn't attack her. I truly am concerned about that child. Never have I been more worried that something could happen to a baby. Or I worry that she'll never bond with her baby and that could cause a whole host of other problems.

I don't know why I even bothered because it only upset me more and her sister. I hate to see people use children in such a manner. It's not that she doesn't want to accept help, it's that if she does accept help she is no longer the victim. It makes me so angry.

I don't know what more I can do.

Read more...

My Newest Harvest

Here is my latest harvest! Well, not Aidan but the veggies.

I went out to clean the garden up, pull some weeds, check the plants and what not and it was well past the time to pull some veggies.

I got 6 cucumbers, 2 tomatoes, 5 jalapenos, and all those peas you see!

There are about a dozen cucumbers that will be ready by midweek, a plant full of peas that should be ready soon, and about 50 tomatoes. I am not exaggerating about the tomatoes. My plants are doing awesome!

I did, however, lose all my cabbages to earwigs. Yes, it was nasty. I had one about the size of my head ready to be picked and when I pulled it a whole army of earwigs attacked me. It's not uncommon but I was very disappointed. I had to inspect my corn because they are very susceptible to them as well.

Sure enough, the little buggers have taken up residence. The good thing is that I caught it now so I can spray and still save my corn and get some edible veggies off it. Which is good because the corn is what I've been waiting for.

And finally I have some squash making their presence known. My vines were looking great but nothing was blooming. In the last two days, I have had some things pop up. I am going to have to go out about every other day to monitor the peas and cucumbers because they are growing so fast!

I'm so excited to be getting veggies out of my own garden. Don't get me wrong, we have so many things we'll have to improve on for next year. But considering this is our first attempt, I'm happy with the results!

Read more...

Being Friends With The Ex

Just about everyone out there has an ex. Ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, or ex-spouse. And it seems that the majority of us cannot be friends with our exes. Why is that?

Daniel has a theory that if you can't be friends with an ex then maybe you shouldn't have broken up in the first place. Meaning there could possibly be residual feelings for that person. I can see that being true but only in some cases. I had a boyfriend in high school that after a year or so after we broke up, we just did not get along. But looking back now I think it was because we still had feelings for each other but ignored them.

I think that possibly if you can't be friendly with your ex that maybe you shouldn't have dated them to begin with. I know in my case, with my ex-boyfriend, I don't believe I should have really gotten involved with him. Sure, I learned some things because of it. But I'm not sure it was a good idea.

Of course there are the times with abusive relationships where you can't exactly be friendly after a break up-but that one just goes along with my theory.

What are your thoughts? Are you friendly with any of your exes? Why or why not?

Read more...